


I Knew You'd Understand

by jetplane



Series: Whumptober 2020 [18]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Episode: s02e15 Revelations, Episode: s05e17 Solitary Man, Father-Son Relationship, Flashbacks, Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective David Rossi, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27114193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jetplane/pseuds/jetplane
Summary: Rossi accidentally sends Reid into a flashback over a prank(based on episodes 02x15 "Revelations" and 05x17 "Solitary Man"prompt: panic attacks (day 18)
Relationships: Spencer Reid & David Rossi
Series: Whumptober 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946050
Comments: 15
Kudos: 185
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	I Knew You'd Understand

Rossi and Reid both eyed the ground. “So, how long’s it going to take you to get in that ditch?”

“Get in that ditch?” Reid echoed. “I got shot in the knee, remember? My doctor says I’m not allowed to do any climbing.” Technically, the only doctor who had said that was the one who had given him his “second opinion,” but the older profiler didn’t have to know that.

Dave spread his hands and waved at the crime scene. Clearly, he didn’t buy the excuse. “It’s a ditch.”

Reid sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to win. “New boots, huh? Italian leather?” he asked as he started down the slope.

“Yeah, what can I tell you?” Rossi brushed an invisible speck of dirt off the top of his shoe, then looked around. “So, from here I can be seen from any passing vehicle.”

“And I can’t,” Reid called out, looking at the shallow puddle at the bottom of the ditch.

“So she was dumped at night,” Rossi concluded.

“Must have,” Spencer agreed.

“He drives up, dumps the body. Job done, he leaves.”

Reid frowned. “I don’t think so.” He squinted up at his colleague. “All five victims were found posed in the fetal position with their right arm palm-up, left arm palm-down.”

“Remorse?” Rossi suggested.

“Or staging. Like they’re asleep.”

Dave considered the profile. “You have any ideas why?”

“No,” Reid admitted, face scrunching as a light breeze blew his hair back. The doctor turned around to examine the field behind him more closely.

“Well, I guess there is a first time for everything,” he remarked. With that, the senior agent turned and started to walk back up towards the road.

“Hey, Rossi,” Reid called out. “I’m gonna need a little bit of help getting out of this ditch.” When he didn’t hear a response, he looked behind him up at the slope and caught a glimpse of his friend’s retreating back. “Rossi!” He disappeared behind the fence. “Rossi?” Sighing, Reid started to climb out of the ditch on his own. “I’ve got it.”

He made it three steps before his foot caught on a raised root and he stumbled. His hands slid out from under him as he tried to break his fall, and a searing pain shot through his palms. And then suddenly, he wasn’t there anymore.

_There’s a shovel in his hands. His fingers are so cold that they can barely grasp the wooden handle that stabs splinters into his palms. Everything hurts - his foot, his head, even the small punctures on the inside of his arm. All he wants to do is stop, but he can’t. If he stops, Raphael is going to kill him._

_Raphael is going to kill him, anyway. When he’s done with his grave._

_Oh God._

_He’s digging his own grave._

_He’s going to die here. This hole in front of him - this is how it ends. He doesn’t want to die - not here, not now, not like this._

_He can’t do this. He’s too weak. Raphael can kill him right here if he wants. But he doesn’t have the strength to dig anymore._

“Reid!” Someone grabs his arm.

_Tobias? Was that Tobias?_

_“Tell me it doesn’t help.”_

_No, please._

_He doesn’t want it. Not again. He can’t take it._

_The memories - they’re too much. He’s weak, he’s a sinner, and he’s going to die. He deserves to die for what he’s done._

_A needle is piercing his arm now, and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. The drugs are filling his veins, but something’s wrong - it’s too much. Everything feels hot and there’s light everywhere._

_He’s floating away. Is this what dying feels like? He can’t die; he’s too young to die, but he can’t hold on any longer._

“Spencer!”

_He’s staring down the barrel of a revolver again. A finger pulls the trigger. He braces himself for an explosion that doesn’t come. But it only clicks._

_“Choose.”_

_He can’t choose. He’s going to die if he can’t choose but - he can’t do it. Can’t sentence any of his teammates to death._

_It clicks again. There are only two chambers left, and one of them is holding the bullet that is going to blow his brain apart._

“Spencer!”

_That’s not Charles or Raphael. The voice sounds familiar, but Reid can’t place it._

_Is someone else here to hurt him? He can’t take any more of this. Just kill him already._

“Reid, it’s Rossi.”

_Rossi? Who’s - oh, thank God. Rossi’s here. The team found him._

“You’re okay, kid. It’s just a flashback; open your eyes and everything’s going to be fine.”

_Something touches his hand. It’s strong, but it doesn’t hurt. In fact, the touch is warm and strangely comforting._

“I’m holding your hand, Spencer, can you feel that? Can you feel me holding your hand?”

With tremendous effort, Reid wrenched open his eyes and managed to take in Rossi’s face for just an instant before the sunlight made him shut them again. But moments later, something landed gently on Reid’s face, blocking out the brightness. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Dave’s hand shielding his eyes from the sun. “Rossi,” he choked out.

“I’m right here, son. You’re safe.” The hand on his arm disappeared. “Just breathe.”

With a gasp of relief, Reid shoved himself upright and launched himself directly at Rossi. Their bodies impacted with surprising force, nearly knocking the older profiler back into the dirt. He held the shaking boy in his arms as Spencer wrapped his arms tightly around his neck and let his tear-stained cheeks fall onto Rossi’s shoulder. “I’ve got you,” he whispered. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I knew it,” Reid sobbed. “I knew you’d understand.”

-

Rossi chuckled as he heard Reid call his name. He knew the kid would be fine; Dave wasn’t cruel enough to actually abandon him. So he hid behind a police cruiser and waited to see Reid’s head pop up from the ditch.

But it didn’t, and Rossi quickly grew concerned. “Reid?” he called out, walking closer to see where his friend had gone. In all likelihood, Spencer was probably just playing another practical joke. But he knew that Hotch would be expecting the two of them to get back soon, so he figured he might as well call it a truce. “Reid, where’d you go?” Rossi glanced down the slope, and that’s when he saw his colleague lying face-down in the dirt, not moving at all. “Spencer!”

He stumbled down the grass, Italian leather boots forgotten, and fell to his knees by Reid’s side. “Reid?” _Please be breathing, please be breathing, please be breathing._ Rossi grabbed the young man and flipped him over onto his back to find Reid’s eyes wide open, cheeks streaked with tears. His whole body was unnaturally rigid, and his limbs shook as if he were having a seizure. But Rossi recognized what was happening immediately. “Reid!”

Spencer jerked roughly away from Rossi’s hands. “No, please,” he cried out, pulling his arms in towards his chest. “I don’t want it.” His words gave Dave just a second of pause. _What’s the kid talking about?_

“Spencer, it’s Rossi!” He shook his shoulders, trying to snap him out of the flashback. “You’re safe. Nothing’s happening to you.”

Reid twitched again, shaking his head from side to side as more tears escaped his eyes. “Kill me,” Reid croaked. “I’m not weak.”

“Spencer!” The plea caught Rossi off-guard, and he jumped away from Reid as if he had been burned. _What the hell happened to him?_ “Spencer, listen to me.”

The younger agent just shuddered. His face scrunched up, expression a mixture of fear and confusion. But Rossi could tell that he was starting to come to.

“Reid.” Dave tried to speak as loudly and clearly as possible. “It’s Rossi. You’re having a flashback. Whatever you’re seeing - it’s not real.”

“Rossi,” Spencer choked, reaching out blindly in Dave’s direction. “Help me.”

“You’re okay, kid. It’s just a flashback; open your eyes and everything’s going to be fine.” Rossi reached out and took one of Reid’s hands. “I’m holding your hand, Spencer, can you feel that? Can you feel me holding your hand?”

Reid nodded shakily. He forced his eyes open, squinting into the bright light before shutting his eyes again. Rossi hurriedly placed one hand over Spencer’s eyes to shield them from the sunlight. “Rossi,” he croaked, making eye contact with the older man this time.

“I’m right here, son,” Rossi assured him. He took his hand off the boy, not sure if he still wanted to be touched. “You’re safe. Just breathe.”

In a blur of motion, Reid launched himself into Rossi’s arms. They collided, Rossi nearly tumbling backward from the force. He gripped the trembling body in his arms, absorbing Spencer’s quiet sobs as they clutched each other tightly. “I’ve got you,” he promised. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I knew it,” Spencer choked out. “I knew you’d understand.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you enjoyed and/or have any feedback! Have a great night!


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